Needles, tubes, and Noobs. Part one.

I remember when the thought of going for a check up at the doctor's was accompanied by a mountain of anxiety of getting a shot.  I'd sit on the table bed with the paper cover...."let me look in your ear...yes yes...say 'ahhh'"  Knowing the inevitable was coming my heart rate would slowly increase throughout the appointment.  When it came time I'd beg and plead, start crying, and then eventually 'boy-up'.  The adult equivalent of " OW!  Son of a bitch!"would be thought and I'd be on my way with a red flag lollipop.

Now...you could drive a 3/8 inch tube down my nose and into my stomach and I wouldn't bat an eye.  This past couple weeks I have had a lot of these annoying invasive tubes on top of the ones I currently deal with.

   The feeding tube, through which an ensure type beverage is piped into my colon runs from my right nostril to my colon.  There is also an anchor ; which is two tiny pieces of plastic that come together through the septum hole in your nose.  My anchor became lose and the tube slipped back into my stomach- which is a problem. My stomach was filling up with nutrients and not given enough time to digest it...so it would just come up (politely speaking).  When the reinsert it, the doctors have to put a very small metal wire to help keep it stiff as they push it back into the colon.  This is painful and I can only imagine I sound like Arnold Swarzanegger (sp) while they're doing this.  The doctor keeps saying to me "Think of your favorite food....think of you favorite food....THINK OF YOUR FAVORITE FOOD!"  Scrambling my mind thinks of beef stroganoff .... Finally I'm like "why do you keep saying that! Is it suppose to cheer me up?"  Apparently when you think of your favorite food it cause the doors to the abyss to open a little.